Puking Dog

If you break in and rob someone and need to check Facebook...

make sure you log out, dumbass.  [Journal News]

Guy drills through live round to make a keychain

Can ya guess what happens next?  Ding Dong! Is that you Darwin?  [WSAZ]

Clown crashes into a car in West Virginia

Police piled on charges of D.U.I, property damage, leaving the scene of an accident, no proof of insurance, and failing to maintain control of a vehicle.  Sad face... [WTRF]

11-Year-Old girl allegedly uses gun to force 7-year-old sister to play

She also pointed the .38 at her grandmother.  [Fox News]

Couple tries to sell drugs to prosecutor via text message

That didn't work out so well.  Two really smart folks here! [Charleston Gazatte]

Good news? Wendy's says pube burger was an isolated incident

A health department spokesman says "there probably aren't a lot of diseases" that can be spread with a burger full of short curlies.  What?!?!  [WTOV.com]

It took firemen 15 minutes to figure out that hydrant was fake

What?  Apparently, in West-dag-gum-Virginia, people put fake hydrants in their front yards for decoration, the convenience of their dogs (sooo special), and perhaps to defraud the insurance company.  Still... you'd think a professional firefighter could tell a fake one from a real one in less than 15 minutes.  [WSAZ]

Two guys in West Virginia play quick draw... you know the rest

Randy Howerton, 31, and Wesley Miliam, 42, decided to play a game of quick draw... maybe because they live in West Virginia... maybe because they didn't have a Wii... maybe because they weren't thinking...  Anyway, Wes lost... in a big way.  A sheriff's official stated, “What was really surprising was that there didn’t seem to be any alcohol at all. No drugs, no guns, it was very different, very surprising.”  Huh?  How can a guy get shot when there aren't any guns involved?  Is there an editor in the house?  [TriCities]

Guy gets beat down for hiding girlfriend's hooch

William Randall, of Rand, WV was allegedly beaten by his girlfriend for "hiding her beer to keep her sober."  The girlfriend, Angela Amodio, 41 apparently started punching Willie and demanding he give her back the beer... she also swung a small screwdriver at him and cut his finger.  When Willie tried to run, Angie continued to punch Randall in the face.  Yikes.  If shre's this mean sober, I'd hate to see her drunk! [Charleston Daily Mail]

Don't eat any escaped pigs you happen to find in West Virginia

Five pigs made a run for it after a livestock truck overturned in Winfield, WV and are still on the loose.  Authorities issued a statement saying that the pork critters are not safe to eat because they had been given high doses of antibiotics for a cross country road trip (that's where all the tasty goodness of store bought pork products comes from, I guess...sounds yummy).  There was no word on how to identify the escaped pigs... maybe the are the ones hitchhiking their way across the country?  [Charleston Gazette]