Puking Dog

Man charged for making coffee naked... in his house.

Apparently, a woman walking by saw him through the window at 5:30am.  Geesh.  [My FoxDC]

Makin' Bacon: U.S. Military straps body armor on pigs...

puts 'em between two exploding Humvees to see what happens.  Wonder why the PETA nuts weren't all over this?  [USAToday] 

Cop in police cruiser arrested for DUI

He was a 33 year veteran of the police force... not for long.  [WTOP]

Starbucks' barrista has an extra shot... in the leg

This superstar thought it was a good idea to keep his loaded pistol in his pocket during his shift...  until it went off and got him in the leg.  [Washington Post]  

Monkey Meat Confiscated At Dulles

Officials at Dulles International airport confiscated three charred monkey carcasses, dried deer meat, as well as dried beef, from a traveling African mans luggage.  Apparently, you can't bring that in to the country.  The man didn't wasn't combative and told the authorities about everything.  They didn't fine him and sent him on his way, monkey-less.  Good to see common sense making a comeback for the holidays, all be it in a strange way.  [Loudon Extra]

Middle schoolers receive 1st paychecks for behaving and showing up at school

Last August, a Washington DC school district and Harvard University launched a plan to pay kids to do what they are supposed to do: show up to school, behave, and study (original post here).  The first paychecks were handed out last week... some kids were disappointed that a computer error (the programmer probably wasn't paid enough to study in school) shorted them on behavior and attendance.  The principal tried to turn it into a life lesson by telling kids that once he had to work for four weeks without pay.  Overall, $138,000 was handed out to these future capitalists.  [Washington Post]

Wife rats out guy who stole $1.6 million worth of stuff from employer

Victor Papagno Jr, of the Washington, DC area got lippy with his wife and started to smack her up.  In addition to calling the cops, she phoned his employer, the Naval Research Laboratory, and told them to come get all the crap that Vic had stolen from them out of her house.  All that crap turned out to be 19,709 pieces of stolen computer equipment from the Navy lab – hard drives, CDs, zip drives, floppy disks – worth up to $1.6 million.  He had stolen so much crap that he had to store some of it at neighbors' homes.  He's facing theft of government property charges.  His wife showed some mercy and dropped the domestic battery charges.  [DC Examiner]

A burger to die for: Woman killed for refusing to cook a hamburger

A stranger shows up at an 18-year-old Washington woman's home and demands that she cook him a hamburger.  She refuses, as does her mother.  The guy leaves for a bit, then returns and shoots her.  Crazy.  [Washington Post]

Woman mistakes skunk for cat... you know the rest

Really?  She deserves to get sprayed... or needs to get glasses.  Oh yeah, after pissing on her, the skunk ran into her house.  [Washington Post]

Cash dollars for behavin'

Washington D.C. is paying middle school students up to $200 to behave?!?  Really? Here's a better idea, pay each kid that has a baby $300 a month per kid... two or three kids and every girl outta be able to get her own apartment.  No wait, you've already tried that (can you guess what the result was?)... WTF people!?  How about the "if you behave then you can stay in school, make something of your life and won't end up in the gutter with out of control kids who need to be paid to behave because you are out bowling or smoking crack" plan.  Harvard's footing some of the $2.7M for the program.  These jokers have the cash, but clearly do not recognize the fallacy of hoping for A, while rewarding B. [Washington Post]