Puking Dog

Woman bites boyfriend's lip off during New Year's kiss

 Quote of the day:  "It's unclear what would have prompted Smith to do such a thing."  [Dallas Morning News]

Femail jail guard has inmate perform lap dance for her

 She apparently knew this dude from school... but, still.  More proof they make 'em smart in TexASS.  [Dallas Morning News]

Man assaults sister with a pecan pie

 Not a whole pie, just a (freshly microwaved) slice.  She wants the charges dropped, the state says "see you in people's court!"  Texans.  [Click2Houston]

Dallas police ticked 39 dirvers in 3 years for...

Not speaking English.  And that, my friends, is why it's called TexASS.  [Dallas Morning News]

Guy flees cops, jumps into a ditch, gets bitten by a snake

Bonus: this superstar has been arrested no less than two dozen times. [Austin Statesman]

If you take pix of naked dudes at the gym...

make sure you don't forget your camera under a bench in the locker room. [Star-Telegram]  

Angry woman eats husband's pet goldfish

Apparently, she fried them first.  Yum!  [Houston Chronicle]

600lb. inmate hides a 9mm in his belly roll

They make 'em big and smart in texASS! [Click2Houston.com]

Drunk driver hits drunk driver enforcement officer

Easy pickin's down in texASS.  [Austin Statesman]

Oops! Maintenance worker folds nose gear of 767 on ground...

Clearly, a "wonder what this button does??" moment!  [NBC]