Puking Dog

He wanted a "hook-up," got a "beat down" instead.

 Good.  Think he learned his lesson?  Doesn't look quite bloody enough to me... [Naples News.com]

Dad drunk on playground tells kids to bite cop's face off

 That's a tasering offense in Colorado.  [The Gazette]

Woman stabs boyfriend with 10" knife over... American Idol

 And not just once... five times in the back and twice in the chest.  I hope her singer wins.  [Tampa Bay.com] 

Catholic priest arrested for swiping things at Wal-Mart

 Bonus: It's not the first time this joker has been arrested for sticky fingers.  Paging collection plate auditors.  [Benton Evening News]

Guy tries to scare suicidal friend by driving into a light pole

 You're doing it wrong, dude.  [Des Moines Register]

Man comes into kitchen wearing girlfriend's night gown

 It goes down hill from there.  [Naples News]

Guy's busted colostomy bag gets him banned from hotel

 He paid the clean up $$... it's not like he had goats and a strobe light in the room.  Give the guy a break!  [Ohio.com]

Latricia Howard joins the MLK Day parade

 She couldn't find a parking space... soo.... she drive through the parade.  She's being held on assault with a deadly weapon charges after ALMOST squashing folks.  [Fox News]

50-year-old guy practicing quick draws shoots himself

 Paging Darwin... you missed one.  [News-Press.com]

Woman accused of stabbing her husband over... tacos

 Yes folks, it's a strange world.  [KSBW]