Puking Dog

"Grandma, Mommy's been shot...Apri....."

 Grandma: "Hello, 911.  Send the swat team over!"  [WEWS.com]

Wear an inappropriate outfit to Easter dinner?

 That's a shootin' (in the head) offense.  [Columbus Dispatch]

Grandpa accused of punching kids at Wal-Mart

 Police say this joker put keys between his fingers and punched random kids when their parents weren't looking.  [Columbus Dispatch]

Guy's busted colostomy bag gets him banned from hotel

 He paid the clean up $$... it's not like he had goats and a strobe light in the room.  Give the guy a break!  [Ohio.com]

The people you meet at Wal-Mart..

 This joker swiped a 12-pack of beer, drank it as he walked around the store, threatened to kill a cop and then pissed all over the interview room at the police station.  [Cincinnati.com] 

Woman who punched McDonald's drve-thru window pleads not guilty

 She was upset that the were out of chicken nuggets.  Any rational person knows that, when ya cain't get 'yo 20 piece, the correct course of action is to start swinging.   [Toledo Blade]

Nostradamus ends Judas Priest listening streak at 534 days

All good things must come to an end... [Cleveland.com]

Isn't it ironic: Man dressed as breathalyzer arrested for DUI

The empties and the multiple ID's found in his car probably didn't help his case.  [FOX19]

Brothers fight because...

one drew on the other with a marker while he was sleeping.  They are both over 35.  [Dayton Daily News]

About to be arrested for drunk driving?

Might as well finish your drink!  [Cincinnati.com]