Puking Dog

Someone's leaving soda cans full of urine around York, NE

A Even more special: "a catheter is placed in each can opening. The urine inside spills out when the can is placed or tossed on its side."  [Journal Star]

Dog eats ball and chokes... bites finger off of man trying to save him.

Guy brings dog to vet before getting medical attention.  Huh?  Where is Darwin when you need him?  [MSNBC]

Justice swift from parents of boys facing shoplifting charges

Brothers Kip, 12, and Cole, 15, Russell got some swift justice for a shoplifting incident at a Gering, NE Dollar General store.  Cole allegedly stole a small ax from the store and Kip failed to stop him.  Although they're facing a court date, their parents made them carry bright orange signs through town detailing their indiscretions, write a letter of apology to Dollar General and spend a month without their electronics.  "I won't tolerate a thief, and hopefully this will teach them that they need to make the right choices," the father said. "When you steal, it takes money away from everybody."  Sounds like some good parents you got there, boys... good for them!  [Omaha World Herald]

Faster than a speeding locomotive? Nope

Herb Jenney, 54, of Omaha, NE apparently got stuck on a bridge while hunting and tried to race a railroad train across.  No dice.  He slipped and fell just as he was about to jump out of the way, breaking both legs in several places, injuring his arm, and possibly breaking his neck.  No word on what Herb was hunting on the bridge... [Omaha World-Herald]

Oh no! Butt Bandit going to jail for 13 months...

It probably isn't going to help things when he arrives in jail with the nickname "Butt Bandit."  Poor dude.  In case you are out of the loop, 35-year-old Thomas Larvie, of Valentine, NE slathered his rear end (and sometimes his front end) with lotion or petroleum jelly to make imprints on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine beginning in the spring of 2007.  Now that I think about it... that's probably gonna come in handy in prison.  Good luck, Tommy!  [apprehension post] [San Francisco Chronicle]

Reefer Madness Strikes in Omaha

A night of puff-puff passing ended violently in Omaha on Tuesday night.  Eric Smith, 31, was in his rural Bluffs home smoking pot with two other men late Tuesday, when he accused Steve Jones, 31, of stealing a ring from his mother.  Smith then proceeded to beat Jones with a fireplace poker, then dumped a can of gasoline over his head and threatened to light him on fire. Smith was arrested Saturday on a warrant charging him with attempted murder and arson.  I thought pot was a mellow drug...[Omaha World Herald]

Nebraska's masters of disguise caught, jailed

Two Nebraska men, Ross Menard, 34, and Morgan Helms, 35, were caught trying to get a closer look at the Nebraska - Colorado University game last Saturday.  The two donned security uniforms and attempted to gain access to the field via the Memorial Stadium stands.  A security staffer saw the two, didn't recognize them, and proceeded to call the police.  The two were later apprehended and escorted off the field.  Either these guys have been watching too many spy movies to think they can get away with a disguise like that, or, well....they are just are some good ol' Nebraska educated boys.  Goes to show you can't fix stupid.   [Lincoln Journal Star]

Update: Police grab Butt Bandit suspect

Beginning in spring of 2007, a mystery vandal in Valentine, NE visited local stores, churches and schools at night, and pressed his naked butt  — sometimes his groin, sometimes both — on their windows.  He made marks by first smearing himself with lotion or petroleum jelly (original post here).  Although he hasn't been charged yet, police in have arrested a 35-year-old suspect after catching him in the act. Hopefully, this guy cops a plea.  It might not be the best idea go to jail with "The Butt Bandit" moniker. [MSNBC]

85-year-old man busted for stealing three pieces of penny candy

Police in Omaha, NE ticketed an 85-year-old man for shoplifting three pieces of candy from a grocery store.  Apparently, this fellow was a habitual offender.  The store manager told the guy to cut it out or he'd call the police.  The guy didn't and the manager did.  The value of the candy was 25 cents.  One less criminal to worry about pillaging the Brach's displays in Omaha!  [Journal Star]

Get back in that kitchen and make me a real meal woman!

Donald Jacobs, 48, of North Platte, NE was arrested after police said he assaulted his live-in girlfriend with a cooking pot because he was upset she made him macaroni for dinner.  Classy, Don.  Damn classy.  The girlfriend locked herself in the bathroom and called the police after this winner smacked her up.  Would you be surprised to know that there was a child in the home at the time of the assault?  How about that this wasn't the first time Big Don has smacked up his girlfriend?  How about that Moron Don is unemployed?  This dip $hit was arrested on second-degree domestic assault and faces 5 years in prison.  [North Platte Telegraph]