Puking Dog

EMT shoots two brothers, then administers aid.

I guess there are worse people to get shot by... [Boston Globe]

Dude to cops: "You can't arrest me, I'm naked!"

next, he probably said "You can't see me, because my eyes are closed!" [Wicked Local]

Idiot parents leave sleeping 5-year-old girl in taxi

and the cabbie gets blamed!  Some people should not have kids.  [MSNBC]

Free from jail for days, man arrested for 153rd time

Perspective, perspective, perspective...  “I don’t need a lawyer,” he told the judge in May of 2008. “I’ve been in this court more than you have.”  He is Paul Baldwin, who was arrested for the 153rd time Sunday, a week after he completed a one-year jail sentence for stealing a $1.99 can of beer.  Article

93-year-old man finds a parking space at WalMart

Correction... make that IN WalMart.... [Mercury News.com]

Woman tries to artificially inseminate her wife...

yeah... that's what I thought too.. then I saw that the story was from Massachusetts...  Apparently, she'd been trying to "impregnate her" for some time... Of course, alcohol was involved.  Crazy in love.  [Berkshire Eagle]

"After an all day argument over the public library's hours..."

A guy ends up getting charged with assault and kidnapping.  Geesh.  [Metro West Daily News]

White supremacist has exceptional man-boobs

This dude is accused of killing two people and wounding a third... and told police he wanted to kill as many Jews, blacks and "non-white" people as possible before turning the gun on himself.  Sweet.  No mention if his rage was a result of his ginormus man-nuggets.  [WCVB]

Isn't it ironic: Illegal immigration official hired illegal immigrants to clean

Lorraine Henderson, 50, the Boston area port director for the Customs and Border Protection Division of the US Department of Homeland Security, was arrested on charges that she repeatedly hired undocumented immigrants to clean her condo.  Lorraine's job was to keep Massachusetts ports of entry free of illegal immigration and drug smuggling... and perhaps to get a line on discounted some domestic help.  Sounds like someone's a hypocrite.  [Boston Globe]

Cop gives woman in labor a ticket for driving to hospital in wrong lane

Jennifer Davis was stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on Nov. 18, her contractions just 3 minutes apart. Her husband John was driving in the breakdown lane of Route 2 near Boston when pulled up behind a state trooper to ask whether they could continue using the lane to reach the next exit.  The by-the-book cop said no, gave them a $100 citation for driving in the breakdown lane (he made them wait for their citation while he finished writing someone else's ticket), and ask Jenny to lift her jacket to prove she was pregnant.  You are a shining example of idiocy, my man.  [Boston Globe]