Puking Dog

Johns Hopkins student kills intruder with samurai sword

Apparently, the crooks struck earlier in the day... when they returned for more loot, the samurai warrior was waiting.  [Baltimore Sun] 

Guy calls 911 several times b/c he "needs someone to talk to."

Good thing he has a cellmate now! [News Post]

Mother realizes her daughter, 4, is missing after seeing her on TV

WTF?  Seriously.  There outta be a test in order to have a kid.  Poor girl.  [WBALT]

Guy lighting fireworks forgets to account for the wind

Randy W. Irmen of Conowingo, MD suffered burns to his chest and right ear when he and some buddies were setting off some illegal New Year's fireworks in the back yard when Randy lit an aerial shell inside a mortar tube... unfortunately for Randy, high winds blew it on him and set him on fire.... there has to be a reason fireworks are illegal.  Could this be it? [WBALTV]

What the buck? Man tries to save his dog, gets impaled by deer

Gilbert Genn, of Gaithersburg, MD was taking his dog, Yuffie, for a walk when a deer hopped out of the bushes and tried to charge Yuffie.  Gilbert "tore down the driveway screaming 'Yuffie get away.'"  The deer charged Gilbert instead... impaling him with an antler "flush in the back of his right leg," knocked him to the ground and stabbed him in the chest and in the groin.  Gilbert then grabbed the deer by the horns and pinned it to the ground for a couple of minutes, until the animal tired out.  Yuffie looked on in amusement as all of this was happening... [WTOP]

Firefighter sets restaurant on fire... perhaps because he didn't like his meal?

Michael Murphy, 42, a firefighter with the Prince George's County Fire/EMS Department is accused of setting the Asian Carry Out Restaurant on fire while heading into work earlier this month.  Mike's in jail (dang security cameras)... a motive for the arson is not yet known, but investigators are checking to see if it stems from Mike being dissatisfied with a meal he had there.  The good news is that Mike and his buddies at the fire department put the fire out... [WUSA9]

Hmmm... jail camera malfunctions, doesn't capture cop killers death

Ronnie White, 19, charged with the hit and run death of a police officer during a traffic stop, was being held in the Prince George's County jail (in Maryland).  Guards "found" him unconscious in his cell several days later.  Interestingly, the video camera guards are required to use when responding to emergencies in cells "did not record the time when guards entered White's cell and started CPR and called 911."  The camera didn't start recording until Ronnie was removed from the cell on a stretcher.  The medical examiner ruled that Ronnie was strangled.  [MyFoxDC]

Inmate begs to take a lie detector test to reduce his sentence... and fails it!

TrentBanks, 29, of Baltimore, MD was convicted of shooting at his girlfriend in March 2006 after she slashed his car tires over his infidelity and sentenced to five years in jail (for a probation violation).  For the past three years, he's been complaining that he didn't do it and requesting over and over to take a lie detector test to prove it.  Well, a judge finally gave 'ol Trent a chance to reduce his sentence by taking the test.  Trent had to pay for the test and take a urinalysis to prove that he had not used any drugs in prison to skew the test.... Results?  FAIL!    At a hearing, the judge told him, "deception was indicated to 99 percent accuracy when you said you were not the one who shot at your girlfriend's car."  Trent told the judge that maybe he was just nervous... the judge explained that there are three possible outcomes in a lie-detector test: no deception, deception indicated or inconclusive.  In conclusive comes up when a person is so nervous that the examiner can't appropriately interpret the test results...  Note: make sure you really didn't do it before requesting a lie detector test!  [Baltimore Sun]

Logic prevails! County refuses to prosecute lady for walking her dogs

Linda Johnson walked her leashed miniature poodles on a neighbor's lawn... a crime in Maryland.  Linda was arrested, shackled, hauled off to the county jail and charged with criminal trespassing and harassment when her neighbor, a policeman, called the law.  Calvert County District Court placed the case on the inactive docket, meaning Linda won't be prosecuted.  Apparently, the court didn't want to waste their time.  Ya think?  The DA said the state would officially dismiss the charges against Linda in six months, provided she did not get arrested during that time or make any attempts to contact the neighbors who complained to police about her dogs.  [Washington Post]

Principal's rules for dance include keeping your clothes on, not touching the floor

Carl Perkins, the first year principal at Centennial High in Baltimore, MD was shocked by what he saw at last month's back to school dance--"freak dancing."  The style of dance includes enough suggestive contact to be described by some as akin to a standing lap dance.  At the risk of jeopardizing attendance at the homecoming dance, Carl laid down some dance rules: No wrapping your legs around others, no intimate kissing, no removal of clothing, no hands in clothing, and no touching of private areas.  Also, don't plan on doing any humping, forceful thrusting, bending over more than a 45-degree angle (touching the floor is out)... and, of course, no "freak trains." Kids these days...  [Balitmore Sun]