Puking Dog

44-year-old couple hop into a garbage dumpster to have sex...

and end up getting robbed by senior citizens.  All knids of wrong here.  [KTUL.com]

Naked man running down the street reciting the Lord's Prayer

gets tasered.  Fun day in KC.  [Kansas City.com]

Father of the year says 3-year-old son is a "tough little bugger"

The kid snuck out of the guys trailer and wondered through the woods for 52 hours.  The child's mother was watching him at the time, but was distracted by a phone call.  Must have been a really important call... [Kansas City.com] 

It all started when a man threw a 5 foot penis at a police officer's horse

Horse got spooked, guy gets arrested, girlfriend of guy punches arresting officer, girlfriend of girlfriend hits horse.  Big fun in Wichita.  [Wichita Eagle]

Police: Guy shoots his daughter after she empties his gin bottle

She apparently found him drunk on St. Patty's Day.  Does this guy look like the kinda dude that would shoot his daughter?  Get drunk on St. Patrick's Day, maybe... [KCTV5]

Man holds 50 sparklers for the last time...

Apparently, someone convinced Roy Harris, 44, to hold 50 lit sparklers in his hand in the parking lot just after his Alcoholics Anonymous meeting let out (actually, the meeting was still going on).  The results weren't pretty... he initially lost only two fingers, but doctors had to amputate his hand.  [KWCH]

Town goes to battle stations over kidnapped 4-year-old girl

Only she wasn't really kidnapped.  A dad goes into a bar where grandma (his mother-in-law) has his daughter (who is about 4). He takes his daughter out of the bar and grandma calls the cop saying the girl has been kidnapped.  Police locked down two area schools, sent an email to parents and even arrested a suspect outside the school before figuring out that there was no kidnapping.  [KC Star]

Explicit chant at University of Kansas football games offends some

When the recently resurgent University Of Kansas football team kicks the ball off, fans chant "Rip his (expletive) head off!" at the top of their lungs.  Ok.  It's college.... no big deal... and it sure beats the "Blow Cock, Jayhawk!" chant a few years ago when the team sucked.  But, some people are getting offended and a little nervous about the team's upcoming national TV appearance.  There's a student-driven initiative to stop the chant so the school doesn't appear to be a bunch of rubes.  [Wichita Eagle]