Puking Dog

Police say woman beats sister with a toilet tank lid

 Police found the victim with a cut on her... foot. Huh?  [Press-Citizen]

Guy tries to scare suicidal friend by driving into a light pole

 You're doing it wrong, dude.  [Des Moines Register]

Guy poops in the middle of a drugstore

Wait for it... alcohol may have been a factor.  [Press-Citizen.com]

Log truck driver leaves boom up....

snags power lines for 12 miles.  Superstar!  [Des Moines Register]

Man tries to rob hotel clerk with a butter knife

The clerk said "Oh hells no... get to steppin' foo!" or words to that effect.  The would-be robber left with his head down.  [Rapid City Journal]

Dude bitching at his wife while driving crashes into a tree

Apparently, this weiner kicked the windshield and snapped off the rearview mirror befor egrabbing the steering wheel and crashing into a tree.  Tember temper... [Des Moines Register]

Des Moines man allegedly bites officer

This Tasmania Devil was pulled over and arrested on drunk driving charges.  But that's just the beginning.  Next he wrestled his handcuffed arms from his back to his front, tried to kick a cop in the nuts, bit him, and finished it by shaking the dew off his lily in the police van.  It's no surprise the police report claimed "He was extremely uncooperative."  Article

Who me? I'm building a reef. Why do you ask?

Police noticed a couch cushion floating down the river.  This dude said he was trying to build a reef... [Des Moines Register]

Winner son accused of cutting pacemaker from his dad's chest

with a pocket knife... He hit the guy on the head with a flashlight and a piece of firewood first.  What a guy!  [USAToday]

Guy finds naked and drunk stranger in his hot tub

Woo-hoo!  Correction:  Guy finds naked drunk dude in his hot tub.  Nevermind. [KCCI]