Puking Dog

Woman crashes car while shaving her crotch

 Her ex-boyfriend took the wheel from the passenger seat while she got rid of Gandalf's beard.  [Key West Citizen] 

He wanted a "hook-up," got a "beat down" instead.

 Good.  Think he learned his lesson?  Doesn't look quite bloody enough to me... [Naples News.com]

Woman stabs boyfriend with 10" knife over... American Idol

 And not just once... five times in the back and twice in the chest.  I hope her singer wins.  [Tampa Bay.com] 

Man comes into kitchen wearing girlfriend's night gown

 It goes down hill from there.  [Naples News]

Latricia Howard joins the MLK Day parade

 She couldn't find a parking space... soo.... she drive through the parade.  She's being held on assault with a deadly weapon charges after ALMOST squashing folks.  [Fox News]

50-year-old guy practicing quick draws shoots himself

 Paging Darwin... you missed one.  [News-Press.com]

Florida woman has a 33 year old pet snowball in her freezer

 She made it in 1977 and takes it out to show friends on occasion.  How lovely.  [KCCI.com]

Family uses BBQ in living room to keep warm in Florida... bad news ensues

 Stupid or Sad?  It isn't that cold down there... maybe they are used to it being a little toastier inside.  [Tampa Bay.com]

92-year-old man crashes into diner, eats breakfast

 The guy probably didn't even know what was going on.  Almost as bad as a text messaging teenager!  [WESH.com]

11-year-old girl sets her sleeping mom on fire

 Police spokeswoman Elizabeth Watts said a motive was "probably just typical teenage angst."  Umm... that explains why every 11-year-old sets their mom on fire, right?  Parenting class, anyone?  [MSNBC]