Puking Dog

2-year-old has same IQ as Einstein

The other day he said "Mummy, sausages are like a party in my mouth."  You be the judge.  [Fox.com]

Guy Facebooks he felt like "killin' some1"... and allegedly does

Leon Ramsden, 19, of Salford, England posted a message on his Facebook wall saying he felt "like killin some1".. then headed over to a local pub and stabbed a guy to death, according to court testimony.  How special... the good news is that the nuts seem to float to the top in the Facebook drink.  [WiganToday]

Store apologizes after playing a Rage Against The Machine song over loud speakers

A store in England has been forced to apologize after an employee blasted Rage Against The Machine's song "Killing In The Name" over the store's speakers.  The song repeats the line 'F**k you, I won't do what you tell me' 16 times. (Click here to listen to the song, if you must.. part in question at about 4:20).  "A member of staff must have put the song on himself in the entertainment section – he was nodding his head," a shopper said. [Lancashire Evening Post]

British guy fails to use a butt gasket, gets glued to toilet seat

Apparently, the British do have a sense of humor... an odd sense, but it's there.  It also appears that some Britons will mindlessly sit on a goo covered toilet seat.  Ick.  Some joker in the West Midlands (somewhere in England) put some super-glue on a stainless steel toilet seat... and some other joker was dumb enough to sit on it without first laying down some ass wipe or at least a few of those butt gaskets from the dispenser on the wall.  Of course, the guy got stuck to the seat and the authorities had to remove the toilet and take him to the hospital via ambulance to remove it.  The toilet was later taken back and re-installed (that's a relief).  Thanks, Hall Monitor.  [BBC]

Good to know: Calling some a leprechaun is not a hate crime in the UK

Andeliza Tucker,18, of the UK, was arrested and taken to trial for calling her Irish neighbor a "******* leprechaun."  Apparently, the law suspected her of "racial abuse."  (Last year, an Irishman was given a suspended jail term for calling a Welsh woman, an "English bitch'.... gasp!).  Andeliza claimed that she had simply been talking to her sister about leprechauns after seeing one featured in a movieshe'd been watching.  The prosecution alleged that Andeliza was referring to the leprechaun as an Irish symbol, concluding with a reference to the leprechaun's penchant for hoarding treasure.  Common sense prevailed and the case was dismissed.  [Daily Mail]

British burglar sorry for scaring 91-year-old woman, sends her flowers

The guy apparently busted into her house and was creeping around at 4am when he frightened her.  The burglar said he was sorry for scaring her and that he thought the place was vacant.  Good to see that the guy has a conscience.  He's still on the loose though... I'd check the vacant houses.  [cbc.ca]

Doctors given tips on how to tell if someone is really dead

Huh... just in time for Halloween...The Academy of Royal Colleges in the UK has issued doctors some guidelines on how to tell if someone is really dead.  If you've got a really cold dead person, or a guy who took a lot of sedatives and died... watch out... they might not really be dead.  The guidelines go on to say that death should be irreversible.  Sounds fair.  Who wouldn't agree with that?   Thank goodness for the Academy of Royal Colleges... we appreciate your clearing that up.  [BBC]

British science teacher ordered to "retrain" for smacking female student on butt and calling her "naughty girl"

What the eff?  It's a different world over in Jolly old England, I guess.  A teacher was ordered to retrain (what does that mean??) for spanking a teenage girl on the bottom while she bent over a computer printer and calling her a ‘naughty girl’.  Science teacher Trevor Towers, 49, "crept up behind the 14-year-old girl" and slapped her on the butt in full view of her classmates.  Trev says it was just a spot of fun, that's all.  He was fired from the school, but will be allowed to continue teaching if he completes a retraining course to update his knowledge of safeguarding children.  You gotta be kidding me.  [Daily Mail]

British lawyer says victim's smiling Facebook photos prove she was not traumatized

Anthony Francis was found guilty of raping a 19-year-old woman in England.  The girl says, since the rape, she has become depressed and the trauma has even caused her to try to kill herself.  Anthony's lawyer, arguing for leniency at his sentencing, said that she can't be that traumatized, because she has smiling photos posted on her Facebook account.  Note: in order to be traumatized by rape, you apparently can never ever smile again.  [Daily Mail]

British online sweethearts figure out they are neighbors

Criminy.  I guess these two don't get out much.  No wonder they're looking for love on the world wide web.  Julie McIIroy and Allan Donnelly met on a dating website and "took a fancy to one another"... turns out they are neighbors who had lived only seven houses apart for 17 years.  Huh?  How is that possible?   "I was stunned... He asked me over for a cup of tea, and that was that," Julie said.  I'm stunned too.  Wouldn't you know these two homebodies are now planning to marry.  [ABC News]