Puking Dog

Teacher to students: If I get laid off, I'll....

 wait for it.... "Become and stripper and sell my eggs to pay the bills."  Ta-dah!  [Modesto Bee]

A shot to the sack and I'm to blame...

 That's his story and he's sticking to it.  Thanks, Chris! [Mercury News]

Woman accused of stabbing her husband over... tacos

 Yes folks, it's a strange world.  [KSBW]

Christmas tree surfing: Latest fad among rocket scientists

 Oh What-fun-it-is-to-slam in-to-a-parked-S-U-V.  [Orange County Register]

Instant Classic: Inmate has surgery to remove shiv from his rectum

 Apparently, it had been in there for three weeks.  Tax dollars hard at work!  [Merced Sun-Star] 

Guess who got arrested for putting "Who is John Scott?" stickers everywhere

Yep... John Scott, 73.  Go figure.  [LA Times]

Dad blows off finger demonstrating dangers to gunpowder to son

The pretty realistic lesson prolly went something like: "Son, here's why you shouldn't play with gun powder--BANG!"  [KTLA]

Courtroom poop thrower gets 31years

This superstar snuck a small bag of poop into court, rubbed some on his lawyer and threw the rest at the jury.  [San Diego Union Tribune]   

Grocery clerk denied bathroom break gets $200k

Not bad, if you don't mind the peeing your pants at the register part.  [San Francisco Chronicle]

Son clogs toilet... dad stabs him with a corkscrew.

Yes, alcohol was involved.  [KTLA]