Puking Dog

Australian navy taking two months off for Christmas this year

Most of Australia's navy is going on a two month Christmas vacation as part of a new strategy to cope with crew shortages.  The defense minister says the extended break was a way of encouraging sailors to stay in the service... and won't affect national security at all (Um... ok).  By the time any foreign navy sails all the way down to Australia, they boys from down under will be back at the helm... [BBC]

286lb 14-year-old girl wins medal at Sumo World Championships

Samantha-Jane Stacey, a 286lb, 14-year-old nicknamed Sammy Sumo, has become the youngest Australian to win a medal at the World Sumo Championships. The local newspaper is giving her static for weighing so much though... Sammy Sumo's mom said that those guys "should get a life," and that Sammy is huge because of a medical condition, not from over-eating.  [Courier Mail]

Boy goes wild at Australian zoo

WTF?  A 7-year-old boy busted into an Australian zoo and killed 13 animals.  He smiled the whole time--squashing some animals with rocks and throwing others over the fence to the crocodile enclosure.  He's too young to be prosecuted, so zoo officials are considering suing his parents.  Seriously... where were the parents and how do you raise a little cretin like this?  Perhaps they need to be fed to the crocodiles.  [BBC]

Woman puts crushed glass in husband's lunch to stop his drinking

Lynette Quessy, of Sandy Bay, Australia wanted her husband to quit drinking, so she put fragments of a smashed light bulb in his lunch a few times.  Um.. that makes sense, right?  Her husband first noticed glass in a roll when he bit into it and chipped a filling on his tooth. A week later he noticed what looked like rock salt on some biscuits.  He went to the police.  Lynette said she wanted "to hurt her husband as much as he hurt her."  She's going to be sentenced next week.  [news.com.au]

Australian pub's "No Undie Sundie" promotion is causing outrage

The Saint Hotel in St Kilda, Melbourne, is offering women $50 in drink vouchers for taking off their underwear.  The mayor says the promotion "fuels the fire for irresponsible drinking, irresponsible behavior and puts young women at risk and makes them more vulnerable to sexual assault."  The Australian hotel industry lashed out at the pub, accusing it of sexism and undermining the industry with tasteless and irresponsible conduct.  [Telegraph]

Football streaker knocks himself out on field

A streaker jumped the fence at the eight minute mark of an Australian Rules Football game (in Australia. of course), ran to the middle of the field and did a "funny" jump.  He landed heavily on this head and was "out cold".  Video of the mess after the jump. [news.com.au]

Stupid kid attacks kangaroo on video, knocks it unconscious

The Australian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is looking for a kid show in a video using kickboxing-style attacks on a kangaroo while his friend laughs and films.  In one scene the guy pulls the kangaroo towards him and uses his knee to deliver a blow to the animal'schest.  The animal was knocked unconscious; it's not clear if it was killed.  [Courier Mail]

Australian sex-ed: Girls who play didgeridoo risk infertility

In a response to the publication of The Daring Book for Girls in Australia, the Victorian Aboriginal Education Association says women shouldn't play with long, tubular instruments or they may become infertile.  "We know very clearly that there's a range of consequences for a female touching a didgeridoo - infertility would be the start of it, ranging to other consequences," said the association's general manager, Mark Rose.  Things really are opposite down under... here in the States, a female touching a didgeridoo or other long tubular instrument often leads to fertility.  [Stuff.co.nz]

Beer goggle capital of Australia

Ugly and need a place to go on vacation?  Consider Mount Isa where "There's definitely a lack of beautiful women, blokes are not as picky – you take what you can get."  One resident says that there are now more women around, but they "aren't the type to take home to meet your mother." [Townsville Bulletin]