Puking Dog

Kicking a cop in the nads results in tasering

Which results in taseree screaming like a 10-year-old girl.  [Fox News]

Couple Has 9/9/09 Baby After 8/8/08 Baby

'Cause they live in Arkansas... and that kinda stuff is important down there.  [4029TV.com]

Pig figures out how to avoid becoming bacon

He escaped from a truck that crashed and was found drinking pool water in some yokle's back yard.  Apparently, he ain't no good for eatin' no more 'cause lordy knows what he been up to all week.  Good for him!  [AP via Yahoo!]

Guy arrested fo rslaping IHOP waitress's rear end

...and he told her that she liked it.  Who wouldn't want a drunk old dude smacking them on the butt?  [Naples News]

Woman starts a brawl at a wake...

Surprisingly, she had a beer in her hand. [WRAL]

Guy tries to cash in a bag of stolen nickles...

forgets to take his gun out of his giant bag of loot... teller sees it, calls the law, police find more stoles stuff at his house, party over.  [York Daily Record]

Kids sell $15,000 in silver to scrap dealer for $30 to buy gas

A group of Bentonville, Arkansas' smartest kids allegedly stole two safes containing gold, silver and such.  Of course, being idiots, they had no idea what the stuff was worth, so they took a 62.5-pound silver bar to a scrap dealer who became suspicious and offered them $30 for it.  The hillbilly metal thieves took the offer and giggled on over to the Texaco to buy some gas while the scrap guy called the law.  Police caught up with the kids and arrested them.  Ah... life in the big city.  [Arkansas Online]

75-year-old woman shoots husband three times with .357 Magnum for wanting sex

Myrtle Walter, 75, of Rogers, AR confessed to Benton County police that she shot Paul Walter, 74, with a .357-caliber revolver three times while he was sleeping in their bedroom because he wanted sex.  Apparently, the guy came home all gizzied up after having four or five beers and wanted to have sex but she did not want to... and she "could no longer tolerate the mental abuse."  Ok.  So... she got a .357 and shot her husband once, then fired two more times when she saw him move. Myrtle told police she aimed at her husband's head, but did not know where she shot him because the bedroom light was off.  She said her husband was asleep, lying face down.  She also said she was sorry for shooting him, but relieved he was gone.  She's facing capital murder charges now... geesh.  [MyEyeWitnessNews]

Super genius robs bank he was acquitted of robbing a month earlier

Oscar Reynolds, 35, of Jonesboro, AR was acquitted of bank robbery on Aug. 21 after bank employees could not positively identify him as the person who robbed them.  Buuuut.. Oscar returned to the scene of the crime and tried to open an account... and then pulled out a weapon and tried to make a withdraw.  This time they got him on camera and found some marked bills on him.  Who knows what Oscar was thinking... Actually, it sounds like he wasn't thinking.  [Jonesboro Sun]

Fight Club... at church run daycare

A church run Fayetteville, Arkansas daycare center is offering counseling to 3 and 4 year olds who were apparently made to fight each other at the center.  The kids' parents will also be offered counseling.  The teachers’ version of the story was that the children were the ones who introduced the fighting into the classroom as a game. The teachers were fired after being confronted with the claims of making children fight while the rest of the class watched.  Police said the teachers told the children to keep the fighting secret from their parents. [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]