Puking Dog

Guy caught pooping in the wrong car...

 yeah... he thought it was his ex-girlfriend's car.  No word on why he'd want to bust in his ex's back seat.  [Las Cruces Sun]

Bank robbers try to phone in order for cash

 These superstars actually showed up at the bank to get the cash... got arrested instead. [CT Post]

"Attention Wal-Mart customers: All black people leave the store now."

 Amazing.  Cockery like this is what makes Wal-Mart Wal-Mart.  I guess if they hired rocket scientists to work there, they'd have to raise prices.  [Courier Online] 

3-year-old unclaimed for two days after birthday party

 Spent two days with the police because his folks apparently had better things to do.  All the poor kid could say was "pizza" and "ice cream."  [Macomb Daily]

Cops pay $100,000 for ripping out man's grill

 Yep.  Apparently, this superstar had the thing cemented to his chops.  [TENNESSEAN.com]

Grandpa accused of punching kids at Wal-Mart

 Police say this joker put keys between his fingers and punched random kids when their parents weren't looking.  [Columbus Dispatch]

Police say woman beats sister with a toilet tank lid

 Police found the victim with a cut on her... foot. Huh?  [Press-Citizen]

Teacher to students: If I get laid off, I'll....

 wait for it.... "Become and stripper and sell my eggs to pay the bills."  Ta-dah!  [Modesto Bee]

Six women hospitalized for getting cracks filled with caulk

 You can't make this stuff up.  Goos news is that they saved a ton of $... so far.  [NJ.com]

A shot to the sack and I'm to blame...

 That's his story and he's sticking to it.  Thanks, Chris! [Mercury News]