Puking Dog

If you're dumb enough to steal rims for your Geo...

and your dumb enough to roll by the scene of the crime on your "new" rims to see if the victim called the police yet... then you deserve to get caught.  [CBS13]

Woman faces federal charges for threatening to kill probation officer

She allegedly told witnesses that they'd have to "clean up all the blood in the parking lot."  Oh, her name is Teddy Bear Paradise.  How special.  [ABC]

Newby: "Watch me spin this gun on my finge...**BANG!**"

That's what Keith Newby, 21, of Marshfield, WI apparently said before plugging his roommate with a .357.   Newby told police that he was spinning the gun on his finger like they did in the "Old West" when it fired.  Smart, Newb... real smart.  [News Herald]

Why you might not want your boyfriend to pay for your boob job..

You just might break up with the dude and get ambushed one day when he jumps up with a knife and wants to "reclaim what he thinks are rightfully his."  Yikes.  Probably easier to pay for them yourself, ladies.  [Daily Press]

If you're lighting M80s in your grandma's living room...

it's probably not a good idea to stick one between your legs to keep it from making a loud noise... at least if you are fond of your hand and leg.  [Fox News]

Man charged with trying to sacrafice girlfriend

How'd you like to creep home one evening and find your live-in boyfriend lying naked and praying on a couch near a candle-lit altar. Then get a pillowcase slapped over your head and your throat sliced while your man yells in an unidentified language.  Just another day in the life of Seattle's finest.  [Seattle PI]

If you're gonna hide a crackpipe in your butt...

You had better be prepared for the bloody mess that results when the thing busts while you're in the back seat of a police car on the way to jail. [Tampa Bay online]

Mother realizes her daughter, 4, is missing after seeing her on TV

WTF?  Seriously.  There outta be a test in order to have a kid.  Poor girl.  [WBALT]

HAZMAT crews calld to contain "massive chicken wing sauce" spill

Big news in Fairfield, CT... 200 gallons of Buffalo wing sauce spilled on the street when a delivery guy accidentally tipped a barrel over as he was delivering it.  People near the spill are complainging that they can't get to their cars (and want free caswashes).  The guy at the restaurant that ordered the stuff hopes he can get more in by Super Bowl Sunday.  [News Times]

Guy get $76M for breaking his neck on a dare...

Timothy Hoffman, 20 when he got hurt, answered a dare to do a belly flop in the Indian River in Florida.  Problem was he picked a spot that was about a foot deep and slammed head first into the bottom.  He can't move his arms or legs now...   He sued his employer, but they went bankrupt... Timmy might not see any cash dollars.  I'm sure there is a lesson here somewhere...  [Orlando Sentinel]