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July 11, 2009

Guy skips out on paying for "Only God can judge me" tattoo

Ph He owes $200.  I guess the tattoo parlor should have had an idea this guy was a few degrees off... [Denton RC]

July 10, 2009

Bus driver crushes finger adjusting seat, passes out, crashes

Bd "I pulled my finger out—and I knew it was bad, pretty bad. I asked the passenger across from me for a tissue."  [Wisconsin State Journal]

Woman shot on the pot

T This lady was squatting when some superstar in the next stall next dropped her gun.  [Tampa Bay.com]

Texas woman shoots husband playing "dirty-cowboy" in bed

Dc He shoulda checked... she is a convicted felon.  Either way, good to know they are still makin' 'em smart in Texass. [Houston Chronicle]

Panty-wearing man gets 45 years for trying to chain ex-hooker to wall

F The good news: apparently, the incident scared the lady straight.  [Beaumont Enterprise]

July 09, 2009

Kid hacks Facebook; tries to get nude pics from college chicks

Fb When the girls wouldn't send the kid nude photos, he asked them for pictures of their feet.  Creeper.  [Oregon Live]

Dad accused of having 5th grade son help dump hooker's body

Db Wrong on a few levels, huh?  Dude looks innocent to me... [Orlando Sentinel]

Naked guy shows up for dental appointment

Dn He was five days late though... [ConnPost.com]

July 08, 2009

Dine and dash X3

Dd This fellow was arrested three times in one week for running up restaurants tabs and "laughing at the owner when asked to pay the bill."  He went to jail twice, but was released due to over crowding.  Sounds like he's figured out the system.  [NOLA.com

July 07, 2009

Cross-dressing clown robs liqour store to feed his kids

Cd Sounds like his kids may need more than food... [Daily Camera]

July 06, 2009

Woman to police: "My dog made me steal from my ex!"

She claims her dog ate all her checks, so "she had no choice but to take money" from her ex-husband.  [Herald Net.com]

July 05, 2009

Guy charged for spraying his wife with a garden hose

Om Apparently, he was upset with her smoking in the house.  [TC Palm]

July 04, 2009

Pig figures out how to avoid becoming bacon

Pp He escaped from a truck that crashed and was found drinking pool water in some yokle's back yard.  Apparently, he ain't no good for eatin' no more 'cause lordy knows what he been up to all week.  Good for him!  [AP via Yahoo!]

July 03, 2009

Actual headline: Homeowner assaulted by defecating man

Mc Apparently, the dude taking a crap on the lawn didn't want to be bothered, so he hit the guy yelling at him with a milk crate.  [ConPost.com]

July 02, 2009

Dude charged with stalking neighbor...

Lp Police think he busted into his neighbor's house, peed on her laundry and went through her underware.  They got him on video.  [Sheboygan Press]

July 01, 2009

Squirrel pops out of woman's top during police interview

Sb Umm... yeah.  Who doesn't have rodents living in their bra?  [9News]

June 30, 2009

Man tries to rob hotel clerk with a butter knife

Bn The clerk said "Oh hells no... get to steppin' foo!" or words to that effect.  The would-be robber left with his head down.  [Rapid City Journal]

Mayor nixes memo delivery by firetruck

Ft Every memo (memo??) was sent from the fire station via firetruck.  No, that's not backassward at all.  [Star Press]

June 29, 2009

Dude bitching at his wife while driving crashes into a tree

Tree Apparently, this weiner kicked the windshield and snapped off the rearview mirror befor egrabbing the steering wheel and crashing into a tree.  Tember temper... [Des Moines Register]

Oops! Guy deposits drugs along with money at bank

Ca The guy wanted his stach back, but no such luck.  [Tallahassee.com]

June 27, 2009

Guy tries to run down wife with dump truck

Dt He missed and ran into some trees... [Maine Daily News]

Guy fired for sexually harassing a mermaid

Mm He apparently called her "bubble butt." She said her name was Heather. [ABC]

June 26, 2009

Fireman kills pets to save on boarding

Images You're going on a trip, you're stuck with two dogs that need care, you enjoy killing, and you're pressed for time?  Why not?  It saves money... Article

KC man urinating while sleepwalking stabbed by girlfriend

Images Who hasn't been so drunk you pee in the closet and then aimlessly wander around the house?  It gets interesting when the girlfriend feels threatened enough to pull a knife.  Now what really was going on?  Article

Pasco man angry over his dead cats says he shot neighbor twice in back

Images After losing 13 cats in three years, he decided to take justice into his own hands... "Yes, I'm the bad guy," he said Wednesday afternoon from an interview room in the Land O'Lakes jail, where the 67-year-old is being held on a charge of attempted murder.  Article

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